Two years ago, I consciously began manifesting SP after a breakup that I initiated, through my beliefs of not being chosen, prioritised, nor good enough for love. We were in a long distance non monogamous relationship, which shows exactly the self concept that I had. Looking back at the old versions of self, I see how in pain ‘she’ was, from her old childhood stories of abuse and neglect, that had carried over into all previous relationships.
Initially my search began with robotic affirmations. I would fill my days, spending sometimes upto 18 hours a day affirming – I had unfortunately become obsessed. Did it bring me into the new story of my desired self? No! In fact, it caused me more suffering but I continued, because I’d heard I had to persist, and persist I could do. I was so determined, that I wasted almost a year of my life on this path. All robotic affirmations did was leave me double-minded.
Fundamentally I knew that I wasn’t embodying the state of the wish fulfilled, and gradually freed myself from the torture of affirming all day. Other SPs would come onto my life but they too would show me, how I had untrue stories about men, and about my lack of worthiness for love.
Throughout these last two years, SP and I would stay in contact and we never went more than a month without speaking. I always knew we had a deep soul connection, and even received spontaneous visions in meditation where we lived together. I couldn’t give up, although I did try a few times but the desire was too strong and persistent. I think when you just know – you know. Who am I to deny what the God within me has shown me?
I came across Athena through reading comments in Joseph Alai’s videos, I was curious about who this woman was, and began watching her videos. I resonated with her on many levels; we both have a therapy background and I felt she was speaking my language. Not to mention her sweet caring nature was exactly what I needed. I felt with Athena’s credentials, she could hold the appropriate space for me, and I booked in for coaching.
We began video coaching in March 2024, and have so far met three times. I knew that the core issues stemmed from my childhood, and that my self concept was rooted in that abused and neglected child, scared that the people she loved would hurt and leave her. Athena helped with me with healing the inner child hypnosis, and uncovering how I personally manifest. In one of the sessions, Athena logically demonstrated how my reticular activating system operated, and taught me how to look for evidence, that I was actually loved, and people always make time for me.
I see now how during this process, how I have evolved as a person. I am more relaxed and trusting, and definitely nothing like the frantic desperate needy-for-love woman that I once was. The path of becoming who I am today, definitely was not instant but I am better for it, and have a stronger connection to God within me.
I feel relaxed, and slowly slowly moved into the state of not needing anything external to validate me. I know who I am, and I know who my SP is. There were many periods of purging, and dark nights of the soul along this road but now, now the sun keeps shining down on me. In my reality, SP and I are in consistent communication, we grow closer every day, and he is making plans with me more frequently.
Daily I stay on top of my thinking, and naturally new thoughts that are in alignment to my end spontaneously arrive. There’s no effort any more but a gentleness. I do bring my awareness onto my end every day but its with ease. Sometimes I may script a little, have inner conversations, or have relaxed visualisations; however I know I am in the unfolding of my end, nothing can sway me from that- this is it!
Thank you Athena for all your support and for holding such a great container for my unfolding and of course will keep you updated. I am so very grateful, and know that all your dreams are coming true.
Love to you
