My sister and her boyfriend were on and off for 6 years at the time. There was a short term 3P situation when they had broken up during one of these times, so my sister tried to let him go and move on. She didn’t know about the law of assumption back then but every time they reunited during these 6 years the recurring theme was that he wanted to be independent / was inconsistent in his behaviour and she felt clingy and anxious. Eventually, he blocked her (again) for 3 months after another argument and he told her he didn’t want to hear from her again.
She decided to move on and tried dating other guys, but still found herself drawn back to her SP. He ended up unblocking her and reaching out but said he only wanted friendship. This upset her, but it also gave her the push to start working on herself. A couple of months later, she found the law of assumption. She dabbled in it and tried working on her self concept with affirmations at this point, but her SP had still become distant.
A few months later, she reconnected briefly with him. But after a few messages, he grew distant again. Instead of chasing him, she decided to double down on her self-concept around not feeling chosen / rejected, spending about 80% of her energy on herself and 20% on him. The techniques she used were: affirmations, scripting, inner conversations as if he were there with her, the “whisper method” and also visualising imaginal scenes (which wasn’t her favourite technique – she preferred affirmations and inner conversations).
3 months passed and his behaviour was hot-and-cold, this pushed her to get even more serious. She kept working on her self concept imagining herself being chosen and loved. She used revision as well to help change any unfavourable interactions they had. She even affirmed that his sister would talk about her to him!!
About a month later, she was exploring an interest in cryptocurrency and she had been having inner conversations with him in her mind about crypto (and other day-to-day things.) Then, one day, while she was creating a version of their life together on the game “The Sims” 😂, her SP messaged her randomly about crypto after his sister mentioned her in conversation! They started talking regularly and grew closer. He even repeated back some very specific affirmations to her that she had imagined! She later found out that he had actually been thinking of her, and dreamt of her during this time. And right before he messaged her, he even asked his family how they felt about him getting back with her!!
It’s been 3 years since then and they’re happily living together with their fur babies in their dream country town.
She said the way she dealt with the 3d, doubts and spiralling were basically putting on videos of her favourite law of assumption coach to remind her to keep going. The other thing that kept her going was the strong desire to want to change. She said she couldn’t imagine reliving the same old patterns in relationships. She said she didn’t look at social media, and journaled the new story as if it were already happening, and stopped telling herself the old story and arguing with him in her head.
As someone who lived with her and saw her transformation first hand – it’s been pretty incredible to see how self-concept work can truly change your life. She went from having really bad social anxiety, always treated badly in relationships, was always quiet as a mouse and in the background and never thought she was pretty enough (which is crazy to me because she is actually gorgeous??!!). Now she is happy, confident and has a job she loves and makes great money from. We had a very tumultuous and chaotic upbringing, so I know if she can change, we all can !!
Thanks so much 🙂