I always knew I would be writing this. So sure in fact, I’m starting to write this in
the midst of everything unfolding because I’m so sure of how it will all end up this
time. And I’m not even done! Strap in, get your popcorn, this is a long story, 2+
years in the making about manifesting love, money, and good health.
I was single for about 10 years and just didn’t even try to date. When I finally
decided it was time, I recalled visualization exercises I learned before that seemed
to work for my friends and decided to make a list of all the qualities I was looking
for in a mate. I focused on values we should share and not so much what he
looked like, only saying “I must be sexually attracted to him”. I use to write letters
to my soulmate as if I already knew him on a soul level, we just needed to meet
physically. I remember writing, “you need to come find me, these men out here are
crazy”.
He found me on a dating site and sent me a nice, witty opening message. I saw it
but his age caused me pause because he was significantly younger than I wanted
to date. I did like he made an effort to message me and not just an empty “you’ve
matched” alert where one of us still has to make the first contact. I appreciated his
proactiveness and decided it wouldn’t hurt to just meet for an afternoon date.
From his side, he said the minute he saw my profile he said to himself, “That’s
her!” as in he found the woman of his dreams. When he first saw me, he held me
so tight like we were old friends that hadn’t seen each other in a long time and it
felt so familiar to me. That first date was amazing and instead of the two hours I
had initially allocated, it turned into 12 hours of really getting to know each other
(although it felt more like catching up). At one point, I turned to him said, you
found me. Everything progressed so fast and we both felt it and were confessing
our love 2 months in. We both felt like we had found our soul mate and everything
felt perfect and at peace with us. Too perfect, so I was thinking. This is where my
thoughts started to go and creating my beliefs that this isn’t real and something
must be wrong with him. I would find myself second guessing and having to check
in with friends and family if I’m making a mistake. Their responses were split so I
was still confused. There was an additional obstacle, if you choose to see it as
such, we lived in different states. I didn’t trust myself in love situations at the time,
so I relied on my friend’s and family’s opinions on what to do. My friends would
say, just have fun but don’t expect him to get serious with you. I believed them. I
told SP this and even told him I have not stopped dating other men so I’d
understand if he wanted to also date other women. He told me he didn’t want to,
that he’s a monogamous person. I told him I couldn’t be monogamous, not right
now while we live in different states and he said he would never try to change me.
We were both lying to each other and ourselves, we both wanted to be in a
relationship with each other but neither one of us was saying so out of fear.
Meanwhile, we were both so in love and acting like we’d been together for years,
going on trips and pretending to be married. It felt so perfect and one day I said to
him, we have such a great love story, so when is something going to go wrong,
there is always a conflict and I wonder what ours will be. Oh how I wish I knew
then what I know now about manifestation. As you can guess, I wound up
manifesting a 3P for him (hey, I wanted conflict, I got conflict). His ex came back
and he felt he owed it to himself to give things another try since I wasn’t serious
anyway. He let me know and I was devastated. His last text message to me was to
say he found his person and goodbye. Deep inside, I didn’t actually believe him
but forced myself to by saying, why would he lie about something like that. He
then proceeded to block me on everything. I cried everyday for a month.
For months, I tried to get over him. I kept getting these TikTok videos about “get
your ex back” but I would scroll past because I didn’t believe them. I never
believed in taking an ex back and I never chase men. I was stubbornly trying to
forget him. But then one day, one of those coaches came upon my FYP that made
law of assumption sound digestible. She was talking about changing ourselves
and our self-concept and that was something I could vibe with. Her content was
easy to follow and it gave me a nice introduction to law of assumption. I started to
work on my self-concept and one day finally, I found myself at peace with SP. I
actually felt, whatever happens, happens but I’m going to be happy regardless. I
remember thinking, he made a mistake going back to her but that’s his problem,
not mine. I’m worthy of love and I’m hard to let go of. I will find love!
Meanwhile, I started to manifest other things in my life. Free stuff, money, good
health. I got COVID and I kept saying, it’s fine, my body is strong and will fight it. I
only had symptoms for one day and even those were light, felt more like allergies.
No long term issue either. There is a song I found that has lyrics “every little cell in
my body is healthy, every little cell in my body is well” that I’d sing and dance to
around the house.
For money, I was budgeting and noticed I was going to fall short. I said, it’s fine,
it’ll all work out, I’ll find the money. Then out of if the blue, an old coworker from 8
years prior reached out with an opportunity for a short term contract to make the
money I needed. Also, when that contract ended, another contractor told me they
weren’t paying him because they weren’t happy with the work. He was upset but I
didn’t let it upset me. I said, that’s not going to happen to me, I’ll get paid and so
will he. I just said it and forgot it. And we both got paid.
I was still manifesting love when I feel every single ex started to make contact,
every single one. Accept a narcissistic who I blocked on everything, but he may
be the unknown number whose been texting me “hey, how have you been”
because that’s how he would message me on every new messaging app I’d install
before blocking him there too. So yeah, even him. This was increasing my
confidence but I’d still have my low points and wanting to give up. But I wouldn’t
let myself.
I remember my friend very randomly invited me to a concert with a band from the
90s that I never heard of. While I was there, I suddenly got a vision of SP next to
me also enjoying the show. It felt good, I enjoyed the moment but I didn’t think too
much more about it and continued to enjoy the show. At this point, it had been 6
months since SP and I broke up and last time we talked. I got home feeling good
from a night out and went to sleep peacefully. This was such a relief because for
weeks, thoughts of him ruled my mind and it was driving me insane to the point
I’m screaming at my brain to please stop! But tonight, I felt peace for the first time
in awhile. At 5am, I was awakened by a phone call. It was SP.
He did most of the talking but it was how he felt he made a mistake and he never
wanted to let me go. He said he thought of me the night before and got a strong
urge that he must call me. He wanted us to work if I could give him a chance. We
talked all night but here is the weird coincidence, that random band from the 90s I
saw the night before? Turns out it was his favorite band. When I saw him next to
me the night before, he was thinking about me. He also said HE was manifesting
ME.
We continued to talk daily after that, for hours each day. But here’s where I think I
messed that up. I kept bringing in the old story. I even wrote things down to bring
up for our next phone conversation. I had us reliving and hashing out the old story
as I sat on my victim throne demanding answers. Every single day for a week. Well
guess what happened at the end of that week? The old story played out again. 3p
came back, we stopped talking and I was re-blocked. I was devastated all over
again. And if that wasn’t enough, after that happened, my mom called to tell me
she had cancer. So I was a mess emotionally.
It just so happened I had already signed up for a course with a coach that claimed
we would manifest anything in 30 days by the end of the course. I believed her,
why not, I thought, I’ve manifested quickly before. I was focused more on finding
love in general and my mother’s health. I never really bought into the “get your ex
back” craze and have never returned to an ex before. I believe in only wanting
who wants me and manifesting that person into my life. I believe that’s also the
part of living in the end. You have to believe that person is for you and you are
meant to be together. If you don’t, then you aren’t. I’ll just cut to the end of that
part of the story. There was no love at the end of 30 days and my mom was not
getting any better. Then this coach tried to milk us for more money for a Q & A
session. We realized we were dealing with a con artist. Is it possible to manifest in
30 days? Sure, but this coach presented it as guaranteed and so I felt like I failed.
Then she tried to sell her private coaching sessions to continue the work for a
ridiculously high amount because if we didn’t manifest within 30 days, we just
weren’t doing the work so pay her thousands of dollars so she can show you how.
One of other members of the course started a private group chat with most of the
students who felt the same. We created a support group to save each other and
others from scams in the community while simultaneously supporting each other
in our manifestation journey. We shared content from our favorite coaches and
opinions on different coaches. We attended the lives together of some of our
favorites. Then one day one of our members found Athena Raven. We were all
smitten with her and she became a favorite in the group. When one member took
coaching with her, she raved about the results so I decided to sign up too.
I came to Athena both to manifest love and my mother’s health. It felt like an
obligation as her oldest daughter. If I have this power to manifest my ideal reality,
why wouldn’t I use it to help my mom. However, I never seemed to separate it from
finding love too. I’m my imaginal acts, I would see my mother at my wedding. I
would see my husband interacting with my mom. In retrospect, I was probably
forcing it. Athena even called that out, why do I keep tying my manifesting my
mom’s health with manifesting love. In my head, I was threatening the universe. If
you take my mom, I will refuse to be with anyone. It doesn’t make any sense
whatsoever, but this was the strong belief I had at the time. I was being stubborn
thinking I could do to the universe what I would do to my mom to get my own way.
My mom always wanted me to be happy so if I threatened my own happiness, she
would do as I want. Again, doesn’t make sense but it worked with my mom and so
I subconsciously thought it would work with the universe. The truth is, I still don’t
have clear answers on how law of assumption works when it comes to keeping
others alive but that could be a topic for another day as I’m sure there are layers to
it. This is supposed to be a success story.
So anyway, to bridge this part of the story, my mother loses her battle with cancer,
I’m devastated and quite frankly, pissed off. Although angry, I decide to focus on
my healing. In terms of love, everytime I would meditate on it, SP came to mind
specifically, even though I was open to meeting anyone right for me. In my heart I
knew he loves me and 3P won’t last, but I can’t be thinking about him right now.
It’s how I truly felt. But I still had days where I just lost it and couldn’t understand
how can two people love each other and not be together. I almost gave up on
manifestation at all, and on life. I remember telling my manifestation group
because I wanted them to hold me accountable how I was feeling about living. But
a small part of me was still in this and was still hopeful.
I remember saying, “I should give myself a year to grieve, then I’ll return to
manifesting love.”
So I had already worked with Athena for a few sessions and had her recordings
and was continuing the work of focusing on myself and not so much on a partner.
A few months go by, and I woke up one day to a ton of notifications of him liking
all my content. But that’s all it was. No messages from him. I got annoyed and
remember when I told Athena about it, she wanted to celebrate it as movement,
even though I was not seeing it as such. But it was movement because this meant
I was unblocked and 3P was gone. I just let it be and didn’t try to reach out,
thinking he should reach out to me. Then he sent me a song and I responded to
that but his responses were short, so I stopped. I started to stress over this
evasive behavior but I persisted in my manifestation. I just kept bringing it back to
me. Feeling where I was at. Where in my body did I feel any tension. I was also
admittedly very impatient. I had to learn to meditate and release it. Athena had
given me tools and visualizations to release this tension from my body and I used
those as well. I continued to date other men meanwhile because I was open to all
possibilities of finding love (and let’s be honest, it’s because I was impatient and
waiting rather than just being).
Then at about a year since we last spoke on the phone, SP called me and we
talked for hours. He confirmed 3P was long gone, but I already knew that. In fact,
he said a lot of things that I had assumed and I remember just saying “I knew that”
to him. I thought it was the start of something new but he disappeared again and I
don’t see movement again for a few months when he started liking my stories
again. Maybe leaving short comments on them. Again, I did not reach out to him. I
would find myself at times having to bring the attention back to me because my
thoughts would get obsessive over him. I realized I was putting him on a pedestal
acting like him contacting me was such an important thing. He should be so lucky
that I respond!
I had to decide that I need to work on my grief more because that was bringing up
more trauma that I didn’t realize I had. I just kept focusing on me. I did this by
watching my thoughts and if they spiraled out of control, I would say to myself,
bring it back to me. And just try to ground myself. If I still struggled to get
grounded, I would look around and just start identifying things around me with
most of my senses. What do I see, hear, smell, touch, taste? And name a couple
things of each. I would meditate regularly or go for walks to bring me back into the
moment. I even created a cheat sheet for myself that gave myself things to try
depending on how I’m feeling. Am I feeling anxious? Write in my journal, meditate,
stretch, or clean. Am I overwhelmed? Sit outside, walk, create a to-do list. I just
became obsessed with myself and my healing.
I remember when the online interactions stopped and I found myself one day
saying, sure wouldn’t mind proof of life from him. The next day he was back to
liking my content as if he heard my thoughts. That was fun but I knew I didn’t want
to only get small interactions from him. I stayed in the end of my desired state of
being in a healthy and happy relationship with my soulmate and I would see us
together but simultaneously detaching from that outcome and focusing on me.
Detachment was a hard one for me. I realized it didn’t mean forget about him, it
meant getting to a place of neutrality. Whatever happens, happens and I’ll be fine
regardless. To make it fun, I just kept repeating to myself, I’m Switzerland. Going
back to my yoga and meditation roots, I had to keep reminding myself to stay in
the present moment. I practiced not reacting to the 3D with other situations in my
life that had the potential to create stress. I succeeded in those scenarios and that
grew my confidence.
One thing I discovered about myself in past relationships is I didn’t trust myself
enough to leave. Even with jobs, I never quit, always fired or laid off. I’ve always
been broken up with. So I started to make decisions in dating that I would cut it off
if it didn’t serve me. I was blocking and telling people thanks but no thanks. I
broke up with a friend with benefits when he wouldn’t meet my needs. I was
getting comfortable with saying no and calling out bad behavior. I was feeling like I
was finally walking into my power and it felt good. But I still felt something was off.
I dug deeper and found some more issues I had to resolve. My manifestation
group chat was a huge help, many had worked with Athena and we just support
each other through it all. I found my lingering issues and with their support and my
discipline, worked on those. After a couple more missteps and learning from
those, I was feeling like I finally arrived. I even said that to my group chat, I’ve
arrived.
Shortly after my arrival, SP made contact. In fact, on the one year anniversary of
my mother’s passing. I wasn’t sure at the moment if that would just be another
passing call that I get from him again before disappearing into the night so I tried
not to think too much about it and just be in the moment. I used it as validation that
he does indeed think of me and loves me just as I believed he did. I didn’t think
much more into it. I didn’t even try to give it meaning. I know they say in law of
assumption to give everything good meaning but when I struggle with that, I just
say, it is what it is and not think much more about it. It’s my neutral state that I
keep shifting into.
I didn’t hear again from him and about two weeks later while cleaning, I just got
the urge to call him. Now, I’ve gotten these urges before but I always overcame
them and reminded myself, I do not chase, I attract. But this time, I remembered
what Athena had said numerous times that sometimes if you feel like doing
something, just do it. It felt right, not desperate so I did it. He did not answer so I
just left him a message. When I hung up, it felt good. I said I did it, now let it ride.
Got back to cleaning and didn’t think much more about it.
Two days later he returns my call, apologizing for not noticing it before. We talked
for awhile like if we were old friends. I decided this was it. It’s not like before, he
will not just disappear. This has to be the bridge of incidence. He continued to call
me each day after, even if we didn’t always talk because I missed his call. But I did
once assume he’d call me every day and he does. And now, we are in a healthy
and loving relationship.
One thing I didn’t mention earlier, I would have a hard time sometimes viewing him
differently. I knew he was wounded from past trauma and wondered if he would
overcome it enough for us. Well, during those times he went quiet, that’s exactly
what he was doing. He’d check in with me just to let me know he’s thinking of me.
He said when he was not in a good mental space to call me, he would just like my
stories to remind me that I’m still on his mind. He wanted to do the work to be with
me and he did. He’s different now in that he’s more confident and secure about us
than he was before. No one can come between us even if they flew a high
powered jet at us.
Another thing, I don’t know if I accidentally manifested in 2 years because back
when I thought I could manifest love in 30 days and it didn’t happen, I wanted to
let go this idea of time but then accidentally let the Idea get into my head that it
could take 2 years. And that 2 years remained in my subconscious. I’d see it there
and didn’t address it, I just ignored it. Don’t ignore your thoughts, give them
awareness, ask them where they are coming from, work through them, and then
release them. I know thoughts alone don’t manifest, but sometimes they are
indicative of a deep-seated belief. You don’t have to entertain every little thought
you get, but don’t just pretend it’s not there. Even as simple as dismissing with
“nah, that’s not true” sometimes works. But if it keeps coming back, try to
understand why. Had I done that with my 2 years, I’d realize I believed good
relationships take time, that nothing good happens fast. So maybe it all played out
based on my beliefs of good things taking time and my mind decided that time
would be 2 years.
Another thought I have for why it took 2 years is because I believed we both
needed to heal first. I remember when he returned to me the first time, I told him I
would only accept a healed version of himself. I also had a lot of work to do and
believed I should do it before I got into a relationship. So perhaps those beliefs
prevented anything more until I came to a realization that I was ready. Or
overcame my fear.
So we became official and you’d think that’s it, that’s the end of the happy story.
Nope, the work never ends. I got my first trigger a week in. He went quiet for a
few days and not responding to me. I did start to lose it and found myself saying I
felt abandoned. So I worked on that wound, relaxing, meditating, going for a walk.
Then got back into the state of, he loves me and would never leave me. He’s just
busy and probably going through a lot, I bet he’s not calling anyone. I imagined
him calling me and apologizing. And that’s exactly what happened. And I was
right, he was busy, and going through a lot, and ignoring everyone. I did then
explain to him he needs to give me a heads up that he needs space so I know
nothing is wrong. So now I’m resting in the state that we have open
communication no matter what’s going on.
As for my health, I used to injure myself at the gym that had me out for weeks or
months. I started to affirm that I have perfect form when performing my exercises
and I always listen to my body. No injuries in over a year. When the doctor found
two lumps in my breast, they were concerned and ordered more tests but I was
not worried at all, annoyed actually, that I had to pay for more tests when I said, no
they are benign, it’s fine. But you know, science, they need the proof. So I went
through the process and of course I was fine. I’ll manifest they shrink now for the
next ultra sound and they can leave me alone ordering tests.
Money continues to flow to me, but so does other ways of getting free stuff. This
one really required me to dig deep and find those limiting beliefs. Like how we
must earn our money. I’ll have another success story soon for this as well! (My
boyfriend and I are actually both manifestors and are combining powers for this.)
As for techniques I used, I’ll share but keep in mind, it’s not about the technique.
The key really is embodying that end state and I used the technique to get me
back into the state.
I used affirmations when trying to ground myself. I loved them in songs. I
created a playlist of songs with affirmations I liked and I would go for walks
and listen to it, vibe with it, and just get myself into that state of peace that all
is as it should be. I did not obsess over affirmations, I said them as I needed
them and only long enough to shift my thinking. I used them to hype myself up
and stuck to general ones like “Everything always works out for me.” I only
used robotic affirmations when I was fearing for my safety and used it like a
mantra to keep my mind from going crazy, like when there was turbulence on
an airplane, I’d keep repeating “I am safe, I am safe…”.
Mirror work, when I first started out. This was crucial for me to break the
barrier to loving myself fully because I couldn’t even look at myself. I would
look at myself in the mirror each morning and night and tell myself I loved me, I
was beautiful and deserved to be loved. It was hard at first and I cried and
couldn’t finish. But I persisted and actually felt the love and didn’t have to keep
doing the mirror work after awhile. Now I can look myself in the eye and say
anything and I believe me.
Hypnosis and self-hypnosis mostly from Athena but also did a session with a
friend who was starting out and offering her friends a session to practice
(coincidentally, she was also a client of Athena’s and raved about the hypnosis
and that’s why I sought her out). The self-hypnosis came from the recordings
following my hypnosis sessions plus recordings Athena releases on her
YouTube channel.
I tried SATS and imaginal acts as well but mostly, I just let visions come to me
and I’d feel as if they were real and I was just recalling a memory. I tried not to
stay too long in them because I had a tendency to become obsessive and lose
focus over everything else. So I’d see the scene, feel it, enjoy it, move on.
I tried scripting, but I couldn’t stay with it. I did make that list of qualities of my
ideal man which was easier for me.
Gratitude. I went to sleep first feeling grateful for my life and I woke up every
morning giving thanks to something in my life or my manifestation. This just
became a normal habit that blended in well with my already established years
long habit of gratitude every night.
Other things that helped:
I put myself first. If I didn’t feel loved, I loved on myself. If I felt stressed, I’d
ask me, what do I need? And I’d give myself that.
Having my manifestation group chat. We really hyped each other up. But this
can also come from any community you vibe with.
Digital detox as a way to help mental diet. I would go through days where I
limited my online time to avoid unhealthy thoughts.
I consistently have talks with myself. If I start getting worked up over
something, I see me talking with either little me, teenage me, or another
version of adult me and giving myself what I need. Sometimes I’d check in
with future me and see her living our ideal life and reminding present me it’s all
going to work out, don’t worry.
Whenever I accidentally manifest something I didn’t actually want because of
my negative beliefs, I don’t get upset with myself for doing it, I instead
congratulate myself and usher that belief to the positive side. For example, I
had a meeting to attend and I kept saying how they all hate me and I can
expect they will give me a hard time at the meeting but I don’t care. And no
surprise, they are mean to me. When I realized I manifested that, I tell myself
“Congratulations! You manifested that! Now that that’s out of the way, they
won’t be mad anymore, everything is good. They all respect you.” Next time I
attended, I noticed more respect.
Ooh, this is important, understanding that this community is filled with a lot of
people with their own interpretations and beliefs about what the law is. Find
coaches you vibe with. It should feel good to listen to them. When you find
them, subscribe to their channels. You don’t have to agree 100%, in fact, you
should still question, but the information should feel good to you because if it
doesn’t, it won’t work for you. Example, Athena doesn’t promote affirmations,
but they work for me. Others hate them. Again, it’s never been about the
technique anyway, but some techniques just work for some and not others.
Some people like a coach who yells at them and calls them an idiot, others
prefer the gentle yet tough love of others. Find who fits your personality and
study their content.
Therapy. I had a lot of trauma that needed a professional to help me work
through it. It complimented my manifestation work with coaches.
Also important, I was never mad at SP. If I truly believed in an end state of
being in a happy and healthy relationship with my soulmate and if that’s him,
then I wouldn’t be mad at him. So our phone calls were just picking up where
we left off and I never brought up the past again, only focusing on the present
moment. This didn’t mean I ignored any issues, if I needed to address
something, I did. We discussed it, we moved on. But we left the past in the
past. Only to bring up things we wanted to laugh at or relive the happy
moments.
I don’t really have a daily routine other than my self-care routine. I did live and
breathe embodying the state of the wish fulfilled and continue to do so in order to
avoid sliding back into the old story. Some things become habit and it’s natural,
other things I still have to work at. I don’t do well with routine. I like things to be
simple, so I simplified them. All I do now is bring my awareness back to me and
my body, to the present moment, at minimum. And if I’m feeling good, I allow
thoughts of my end state to fill me with more joy. Otherwise, I stay in the present
moment, with gratitude, regardless of circumstances. I still find my thoughts trying
to create anxiety so the work isn’t over yet. After all, I’ve always had my man,
money, my good health, so nothing is different other than the 3D now reflects that
fact. So I continue to do the work to heal, focus on me, find peace in the moment