Hey Athena,
It’s going to be a long story lol. So my SP (fyi her initials happen to be SP as well lol) and I meet through a dating app in the month of May 2024. Now we come from very different backgrounds first off we’re both women, I’m hindu, she’s a Shia muslim, she grew up very religious where as for me religion was a part of it but didn’t play a major role in my upbringing and we’re both Indians and live in India. This situation is like very unorthodox to the power infinity lol but honestly our differences didn’t cause a rift between us at all infact if anything we use it as one of our ways to playfully bond and as banter, it was mostly her personal life that was affected by the religious stuff and not our relationship, at least not directly.
So we vibed immediately but I was anxious back then so in hind sight like even though things were going well between us in the beginning I still felt anxious when she’d take time to get back to me. We met for the first time in person after 4-5 days of texting and we got along famously and not gonna lie but our chemistry was off the charts. Clearly we both liked eachother a lot but the very next day she became a little distant and I tried to stay cool as much as I possibly could. We spoke to eachother for another week and met again and we took things to the next level and she was the one to initiate it. The banter, the physical aspect of the relationship it was all going great though I was having some trouble with the emotional aspect giving that at that time she wasn’t opening up to me that much. In person she was the most present person probably even more than me but when it came to texting she was a totally different person compared to how our interactions were in the beginning where we were constantly texting each other. The texting aspect of our relationship became very hot and cold and that definitely did not help my anxiety.
Before going on the dating app I was manifesting my wife basically the one, through reiki and affirmations and I was fairly new to the manifestation world, I didn’t know much but I think that is probably what pushed me one day to get on a dating app. Anyways after the second time we hung out we were supposed to meet the next day. I texted her asking when should we meet tomorrow after I came back home from her place and I was met with radio silence so I just slept. I called her the next morning and still nothing. I figured she might be asleep. I was right to assume that because she did call me in the afternoon and told me she’ll let me know when should we meet. I did suggest that if she’s not up for it we could meet the next weekend given that she was hungover and she said no we can meet today and once she’s taken a bath and had something to eat she will let me know which time should I come by so naturally I was excited and thought that I was spiralling for no reason, everything is fine between us. I waited for 2 hours and nothing. I texted and called her asking when should I come by and nothing. I figured either the hangover is really bad or she’s ghosting me so I didn’t get mad I waited till the next day to see if she’d respond and she didn’t and that’s when I told her that I was not okay with this behaviour and still nothing. The day after that I texted her saying that if she is done with this then let me know because anything she says is better than her silence and still nothing. I reached out 3 more times in the span of 2 months and she still kept ignoring me.
She had initially come to the city I live in for an internship so after 2 and a half months she was going to go back to her city to finish her last year in uni. Given that she wasn’t responding I finally realised that she’s going back without meeting me despite me doing all the manifestation techniques whether that was affirmations, scripting, manifestation to get a text in a day, I even did tarot readings, you name it and I did it because I was desperate to talk to her and meet her. I knew when she was leaving since she mentioned it so when the day came it absolutely broke my heart. I thought maybe I’ll see her next year when she comes back after she’s done with uni but I was just in too much pain to the point where the stress of the entire situation led to temporary hair fall where I had hair falling out in clumps. It truly was a nightmare.
After she left I didn’t text her though I still had her number. After a month since she left I deleted her number because I had thought she deleted my number and though I was affirming I finally stopped and chose to focus more on my studies since the affirmations were time consuming and draining. The possibility of her coming back seemed bleak. Since I was looking her up on social media I felt like around the time I deleted her number something was off with her that she might be going through something. After around 15 day from when I deleted her number she finally reached out and I’m not gonna lie I was actually surprised. She apologized and we spoke, my hands were trembling and I was crying and laughing at the same time basically a complete mess and I was quite overwhelmed. She said she was in a bad head space and how she reacted and treated me was unfair and when I asked her what was going on she said that she didn’t how to talk about it but it had nothing to do with me. Now I’m going to be honest at that time I thought it was just an excuse and not really true and that she probably dated other girls and realised that she didn’t like anyone as much as she liked me and that is probably why she is back. Those were my assumptions at the time and boi was I wrong and I’m glad that I was though I obviously didn’t know that at that time. I also asked her what did it all mean to her and told her it was okay if it was just lust and at that time I thought I would rather know that and move on rather than be hung up on someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me. She immediately responded saying no that wasn’t the case and she absolutely loved spending time with me and she was more than attracted to me but she couldn’t pursue this with everything going on in her life. Somewhere in the conversation I brought up that I wanted something substantial because we started out as something casual and she responded saying that she felt that she was too young and not mature enough to deal with a serious relationship but she also did say why don’t we meet when I’m back and see how things go. I agreed to that but we didn’t speak after this conversation and this happened in mid September. It funny the day she reached out it had been 4 months since I knew of her existence and since we first spoke to eachother and I was about to turn 24 in a couple of days so I kid you not I told myself if she doesn’t show up before I turn 24 I’m going to close this chapter and not look back. Lo and behold guess who texts me on that very same day lmao I can’t I genuinely cannot.
I was still watching tarot readings doing some affirmations every now and then but not on a regular basis however I used to play affirmations while sleeping and I still do that because I find it soothing though the affirmations videos are centred on my well being and other things that have to do with my inner state. I use affirmations by Jessica Heslop and currently I play either positive mind or exam success affirmations at night since I’m preparing for my Indian medical licensing exam and they are many more if any wants to look her up for night time background affirmations they’re great. I personally use “you are” affirmations since I’m much more receptive to them given that someone else is speaking so it feels weird when it’s “I am” affirmations for me personally. I genuinely wanted to talk to my SP again since our conversation in September but I was stubborn and I wanted her to initiate the conversation but in November I finally caved because I missed her terribly and I really wanted to talk to her and I thought it was ridiculous that I was holding back so much so I just texted her asking how she was doing and she responded immediately and we started speaking again and around this time I had also found Athena’s channel and started watching her video. Now one thing was different about my SP this time around while she still did take some time to get back to me she was just sooo much more engaging and into the conversation and we had really long conversations which honestly was amazing. However she just kinda disappeared on me again and this time I told her that if she doesn’t want to do this all she has to do is tell me and I’ll leave because I’m tired of being treated like crap. She obviously didn’t respond but I knew that she eventually will.
As I had mentioned above this was around the time I had found Athena that is around the end of October or starting of November I don’t remember exactly. From here on whatever changes happened happened within a month’s time. So I started listening to her videos it became a ritual for me to watch her videos with breakfast and it was a great way to start out my day though I should also mention I was still watching tarot reading and using my cards for readings a bit too much. The tarot readings were mostly positive but kept talking about how my SP needed to let go of her fears and that might take time. Even though I ignored that bit maybe just hearing that message way too often might have imprinted on my mind. Obviously that caused some anxiety every once in a while but it wasn’t too bad. Infact this time I was in a much better head space compared to the first time she ghosted me where I didn’t even want to do anything. This time I didn’t let it affect my life I continued studying and going to gym and doing other things and I’m really proud of myself that it didn’t affect me as much this time around. I used to use avoidant as a label for her but I dropped it because of something Athena mentioned in one of her videos that we do ourselves and our SP a disservice by keeping them in a box and that so true though. So I started visualising my end state which was us being married and living a happy and fulfilled life together. I used to have a lot of inner conversations with her initially even though I tried they’d almost always end up in some kind of argument and if not argument it was just a sad conversation. Slowly with time I started redirecting the conversation, initially it didn’t feel natural and the arguments would just play out but with time it got so much more easier to redirect the conversations. I also did Athena’s limitless hypnosis video 2-3 times and that was honestly great, also there were 2 success stories that I held onto one was of a guy getting his avoidant partner to chase him and the other one was of a woman who was married but met a man on the plane that she had some chemistry with but ultimately she ended up with her husband.
Literally 2 days before she texted me I finally decided to unsubscribe to all the tarot channels I was following and put my own tarot cards in a place where I couldn’t easily take them out and wouldn’t be tempted and it worked. I’m not perfect of course I did watch only one reading since she came back but honestly I really am not that tempted by them anymore but I did watch one. I want everyone to understand that it’s okay to have slip ups and it truly isn’t a big deal. Anyways these last 2 days before she texted me I completed immersed myself in my end state with visualisation and inner conversation. I had one or two minor hiccups but I immediately redirect the conversation quite naturally. After 2 days she texted me and actually opened up to me completely this time that she wanted to talk to me and thought about me every single day and that she still thinks about me everyday but she couldn’t talk to me even though she wanted to because she was scared that she wouldn’t pan out well. She opened up to me about her family and how her family and religious stuff were affecting her. We sorted all our issues out and she’s going to therapy and getting better and I can really see that. She also straight up asked if she should come and ask for my hand in marriage, trying to be all nonchalant about it, saying that it’s a joke but also proceed to say that it doesn’t have to be a joke if I don’t want it to be a joke. Well obviously we’re not getting married anytime soon, we still a lot that we have to do in our own life but that also kinda sets the tone that she’s does see the potential and wants it somewhere down the line. I mean we are literally talking about our honeymoon and stuff, like I can’t I literally just can’t ahhh :’) and she straight up told me that I should either call her my wife or my love in our language. So even if we do have any minor hiccups in the 3D while she’s healing I honestly am not worried because I actually know everything thing now, I know that we feel the same way for each other, I know that we both want to be with eachother and I also that we both want the same thing that is to ultimately get married and live together.
I have seen us both grow a lot in these 7 months since we’ve known each other. Like this was the same woman who just a couple of months back said that she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and that she wants emotional intimacy but it scares her and that she didn’t think that she was capable of being emotional vulnerable with someone but not anymore. I don’t really get that anxious anymore and she’s opening up to me more every single day and is present not just in person and over the phone but also when it comes to texting. It doesn’t matter how the bridge unfolds I trust and believe in her, in me and in us.
Also thank you Athena for everything you do, you truly have changed my life and I am eternally grateful for your existence and making manifestation easy.
All love!! 💞